Horror-scope?

LOL, so, nothing exciting is going on in my life today that I'm real interested in sharing. I have a work meeting and I'm still avoiding my edits, though I really don't know why. And as I tried to think up something blogworthy, I realized, there's a lot of news out there that I'm all right with seeing and checking in on, but I don't want to hammer it into anyone's brain. I'm not a politcal speaker, so there goes that. How about something fun for people who are depressed enough and will be depressed more in the near future?

So, I thought I'd do the Horoscope Wheel of Fortune and share with you what the "stars" (in various places) are telling me to expect today:

From Yahoo (supplied by Astrology.com):

Quickie) Are you prepared for romance? You'd better be, because one is headed your way.

Response: Actually I'm married. Ten years in November. We're pretty much always in romance. (We make people sick, actually.) Unless this is actually a warning that I'll be writing again soon. Dammit, and I was doing so well at laying here doing nothing!

Overview)
Nobody, but nobody, does earthy sensuality as well as you do it. Play up your romantic self, with the luxurious (yet practical) twist that only you can bring to the whole enterprise. Maybe it's time for a class on massage techniques?

Response: Yes, well, that's true. (Snort) When they say "play up" do they mean put on something that is NOT a pair of sweats and perhaps some make up? Luxurious yet practical...sorry, I'm not getting it. HAHAHAHA @ massage techniques. Did I NOT mention I'm married? I've been giving neck rubs and foot rubs for years. My KID now comes up to me with the lotion bottle and chirps, "Mommy, Wub?" No way is anyone dragging me to a class for it.


Daily Extended Forecast for September 21, 2005)

You've still got it, but then again, did you ever doubt that? Actually, you might have been doing just that -- a recent situation has been leaving you with the feeling that your charisma meter had a busted tube or something. Thankfully, you can dump that attitude right where it belongs and get back to business as usual. The stars are pumping your charm back up where it belongs -- and even higher. This baby goes all the way up to 11!

Response: Well, all right, they get points for this one. I was afraid that I had lost it. I just wasn't sure what IT was. I don't know about charisma, though. If you could see my hair today--picture Frankenstein's wife for kink value--and I think we'd both agree that charisma is not on my list of attributes.

From http://www.daily-horoscopes.com/:

Activities based at home are likely to be more fun than social entertainment. Go easy with credit use and avoid money disputes. Share feelings, plans and POV's this morning; you will be fully accepted.

Response: Oh, thank God! Since I have no plans to leave home today and my credit cards weigh about 50lbs, I should be safe! Talk about good timing! Money disputes...sadly, the only disputes I have about money are with the folks who want it from me. I guess the work meeting will go all right, though...provided I don't talk about money. I wonder if the Boss wrote this one? Hmmmm..... LOL!

From http://www.astrology-online.com/daily.htm :

Someone may be trying to pull the wool over your eyes. Start making things or reusing rather than buying ready made. You may get drawn into a personal situation that will not be to your liking.

Response: I'm sorry...how the HELL do you get THAT from stargazing? Did Saturn do a pantomine that NASA miraculously missed?

From http://www.horoscope.com/ :

Don't let emotional matters escalate. Stay calm; don't believe everything you hear. Don't make a decision based on half-truths and innuendos. Focus on your own advancement.

Response: Hmmm, I'm beginning to see why people think New Agers are flaky. They're not spacey, folks, they're just getting confusing messages from the heavens. So far, I've been told not to talk about money, but to talk about my feelings, that someone is trying to screw me over, so don't buy anything and maybe I should be careful about expressing my feelings because I'll get into a personal situation that will suck, oh, and don't be emotional about the person trying to screw me with this sucky situation, I could be WRONG (how can I be wrong when three horoscopes are POSITIVE that they're trying to screw me?), so don't make any decisions...and while I'm at it, see if I can get something good out of my boss concerning my job...but don't ask for money. Do people really get paid to write these things? Why am I not in THAT field?

Final Daily from http://www.scopes-mart.com/horoscopes.php?use=linked&css= :

AdZe's Fortune Cookie) The power of your personality will make the difference now.

Response: As opposed to yesterday, when it didn't mean shit.

Current Influence of the Inner Planets (Each influence lasts from a day to several weeks.) ) You are ready for the new and unusual. Expect non-conformity and excitement. Offer something better, faster, cheaper, or more efficient.... Go with the flow. Be creative and sexy. Enjoy top notch professional entertainment.... Communication flows well. Organization and negotiation brings favorable agreements.... To get more love, develop your grace, charm and sense of values.... Develop your stamina and physique.

Response: "Be creative and sexy...enjoy top notch professional entertainment..." I'm confused, does this mean BECOME a stripper or just go see one? I'm thinking it means become one, especially after the advice to develop my stamina and physique. What? I could strip in my current state. For all they know, I'm nekkid right now, the insulting bastids.

Current Influence of the Outer Planets (Each influence lasts from a day to several weeks.) ) Get more power by vowing to become a "master."... Improved self-expression is dramatic and subtle. Unique new opportunities bring pleasant surprises. Your best ideas are ready for television.... You are challenged to be charismatic. Express your fantasies. Steer clear of hypersensitive folks.

Response: These are some kinky folks! Apparently, my future is being a dominatrix! I see it now. That would explain the attempts to screw me, above. "Dramatic and subtle" Is that like stripping, but not being a hooker? If I take up this particular new opportunity, I'm sure someone will be pleasantly surprised. Still, I'd like a little practice before I hit TV to express my fantasies. Steering clear of hypersensitive folks should be easy, don't imagine they'd be watching that channel anyway. Now...to just pull this off without ruining my new romance or asking for money.... Or will becoming a volunteer, unpaid stripper intern who falls in love with her boss while dancing my expressed fantasies and points of view be too confusing and lead to that personal situation with the person who wants to screw me that I don't want to be in. Will I make the wrong decision based on half-truths and innuendo, believing our love will never last and ask for a raise, thereby ruining my karma AND increasing the size of my out of shape ass? Is it me, or do y'alll think I could write that and make it a best selling erotica novel? Hey, maybe daily astrolgy WORKS!!

Smooches all!
Dee