I got to wondering...what are we supposed to put in our blogs? I think we get it in our heads pretty frequently that we have to have to have something important to say before we blog. I know I do.
"I should teach!" or "I should say something really meaningful" or "I should inspire someone" and it really just occurred to me that that is a lot to ask of a body. I mean, hell, I'm barely inspired to get out of bed in the morning. It's too damn early. It's too damn COLD. You know what inspires me--and this is by no means a signal that I don't absolutely love my child--? I think of a whole 5 hours of uninterrupted thinking or doing. I don't have a particular desire to do or think on any one thing. Truthfully, I have to make lists everyday to make sure I think of the right things in the right order. I'm inspired by the lack of "Mommy" every two minutes. My son couldn't talk for the first 4 years of his life--he's catching up with a vengence.
I think about those great blogs where writers sound off about things that just piss them off. Sure, some of them are irrational blatherings of the easily spooked or the desirous of rage types, but to have that much energy to put in a blog? Wow. That's some big competition to deal with. It makes you want to do something with your blog. Something that's going to have everyone talking. Everyone up in arms. Everyone.
Truth is, I don't brush my hair until my hubby comes home at five. I only get dressed because the bus driver gives me weird looks and the homeless people shun me when I take the kid for his morning pick up. I work. Every day. I eke out writing time, not that you'd know it this year. And I raise a kid in my own exhausted fashion. Some days, I'm not too bad a mother. Other days, I'm the shittiest mother alive. I definitely don't have time to get real political. I certainly don't have the energy to be meaningful. So why the hell do I put myself through thinking I should be?
I'm really sure that at some time really soon, I might figure that out. For now, I'm working on being less meaningful and more present. At least, that's the plan. :)